Mrsjmann’s Blog?

July 14, 2008

50 things I learned about being a bank teller

Filed under: work — by mrsjmann @ 6:06 pm

Ok so I work at a’s great most days. I just wonder about people sometimes..

50 Things I have learned by being a bank teller

1. I know everyone in the world, so I never need to ask for ID.

2. ‘I’ll be with you in one moment,’ means ‘Come right up here into my business and breathe your popcorn breath in my face for a while.’

3. Every bank in the world steals money from its customers, particularly the ones that don’t keep a register.

4. I’m always kidding when I tell people a check is not any good. I’m a good kidder.

5. I know the balance of every account at the bank.

6. I am at the bank just because I feel like it; my window isn’t actually open when I say, ‘May I help you?’

7. I know everyone’s account number.

8. I know everyone’s address.

9. I don’t understand how banking works.

10. I have to do whatever the person who gave my customer the check said.

11. I don’t know how to count.

12. I don’t know how to add.

13. I don’t know what the date is.

14. I can read everyone’s mind.

15. If I ask for your social, Im trying to steal your identity.

16. I know when every new coin will be arriving.

17. I know how much everyones bills are for the month.

18. We dont sell stamps.

19. We are just here for fun on most holidays, were not really open. We love when you rub it in.

20. When someone asks how you want your cash back, you are supposed to tell them after you get your money back.

21. Apparently people have different definitions of commercial.

22. Your time is more important than mine. I have no life. When you show up 5 minutes before we close to make 10 deposits or open a new account, we dont mind.

23. Everyone with the Bank name tag is related.

24. I am also your secretary.

25. We love to place holds on your checks for fun, we are the only bank that does it.

26. 13 hours and 10 minutes is not enough time for people to do their business.

27. I am in charge of the never ending popcorn, smarties, and coffee.

28. It is polite to ignore someone when they say hello.

29. It is my fault when someone cuts you in line. I should have been paying attention to you and not your money.

30. I know what a checkingdepositwithdrawal for savings is.

31. Being rude should make me want to help you more.

32. I am not really human, I should not make mistakes.

33. It is okay to go into someones office when their door is shut.

34. I have a secret collection of licenses in my cubby.

35. I cant hear. I need you to ding the bell 5 times in a row.

36. The sign that says Next Window Please is just for decoration.

37. I make people wait on purpose, its fun to make them mad.

38. I know everyones pin number to their ATM card.

38. Fraud isnt real, I should give customers exactly what they want.

39. The coin machine is my favorite thing to do.

40. The bank gives out free poinsettias at Christmas, we order them for you, not the bank. Display only means whatever you want it to mean.

41. Please and Thank You are forbidden words at the bank. We hate to hear them.

42. Checking and Savings deposit slips are EXACTLY the same, we just like the color pink and wanted to make them more colorful. Marking through the word savings changes the deposit slip completely!

43. When I tell someone the same thing over and over, Im just doing it for fun. I like to waste my breath.

44. We will break the rules for anybody as long as you gripe for more than 10 minutes.

45. I am a professional coin counter. Even when the machine is broken, I will count the coin for you by hand!

46. I am psychic; when you call I can recognize your voice and pull up your information. My computer is voice activated. Its that fancy technology we have.

47. You dont have to tell me that youve been with the bank for 50 years… I can tell.

48. Even after 4 years, I am a new teller to anyone who has never seen me before. If Ive never met you, I have no idea what Im doing.

49. I make the rules for the banking industry. You can blame everything on me!

50. I’m an idiot.



  1. I dated a bank teller back when I was in undergrad (9 or so years ago). what I learned. Contrary to popular belief they can’t just give you money. I know. I was shocked too. But even though we were dating she said something like, “you have to have an account at the bank.” Who would have thought that.

    Comment by totaltransformation — July 14, 2008 @ 7:05 pm

  2. Hi there! Nice blog – I always enjoy the bank tellers – Papa is kind – but can joke and tease – just a little. i hate being called; “Mr. Papa’ Why not call me by my first name “Indian Lake”!

    Comment by Indian Lake Papa — July 14, 2008 @ 7:28 pm

  3. hahahaha people sre funny after they are annoying…and I am sure by the end of the day it is hard to smile like you are supposed to..unless of course you are smiling and thinking..”idiot”..hahahaha oh and why don’t tellers know everyone? 😯

    Comment by darla — July 15, 2008 @ 2:30 am

  4. TTF- I know who would have thought, I didnt know that either until I worked at a bank.

    “Indian Lake”- I’m sure the tellers love you! We always like the nice fun customers, that keeps are day going 🙂

    MOM- You know it! It is hard to smile after a long day of people complaining and ordering us around 🙂 but I try to keep my smile on. Its really not that bad!! haha It just seems that way. I do like my job 🙂 REALLY I do! lol

    Comment by mrsjmann — July 15, 2008 @ 5:10 pm

  5. hey today is wednesday..go play “whatever Wednesday ” at Mandys -just a girl…she is on my blogroll

    and on Fridays we play Fill in Friday at Tam’s

    and on Tuesdays…acronym tuesday at totaltransformations…

    always fun…you should come up with something to play on thursdays! let me know and I will help spread the word!

    Comment by darla — July 16, 2008 @ 6:31 am

  6. Hi, I was a victim of identity theft via my bank, Bank of America. On seven separate occasions, their tellers gave out a total of $12,000 of my money to women with a fake driver’s license with the wrong expiration date. The signature was not verified to be mine. No PIN was required. A fake driver’s license, that can be had for probably $100 at MacArthur Park in LA, was all it took.

    These episodes happened in places I never go in Texas and the middle of California, and in a pattern that is not mine: large sums of cash, and taken out from teller windows.

    I would be most grateful if you’d drop by my blog and maybe help those of us who don’t know banking so well (I’m a newspaper advice columnist — love advice, not banking advice) understand how this could have happened.

    Comment by Amy Alkon — July 28, 2008 @ 9:18 pm

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